Author Archive

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• Susan Orlean Laughed At Me
  Dinosaur Trader, January 25th, 2012 at 4:26 pm, Comments: 0

  She's sitting at the edge of her bed, fully clothed. I'm kneeling on the bed behind her, naked, brushing her hair.

• Death and Costco
  Dinosaur Trader, January 5th, 2012 at 4:00 pm, Comments: 0

  "I can't believe Weisenthal thought Michelle Bachmann's eyelashes were real" I thought. "Damned Krugmanite should stick to FRED charts."

• Steve Jobs Owes Us All An Apology
  Dinosaur Trader, January 4th, 2012 at 1:42 pm, Comments: 0

  Steve Jobs' last words were, "Oh wow! Oh wow! Oh wow!" Perhaps they should have been, "I'm so sorry."

• I Quit Trading And The Sun Still Rises
  Dinosaur Trader, December 20th, 2011 at 4:19 pm, Comments: 0

  "To keep warm I burned an entire pile of junk mail in the stove. It was like the American Dream." He smiled.

• Memory, Mexican Food, and Eternity
  Dinosaur Trader, December 16th, 2011 at 7:42 am, Comments: 0

  Five minutes before I was in my house with my wife and growing daughters and then suddenly, I was in my dorm room with candles melting and a girl swaying to music with her eyes closed.

• At The King Kullen
  Dinosaur Trader, December 6th, 2011 at 9:04 am, Comments: 0

  There was a screen with a little cartoon person pressing a button and so I pressed the button.

• 10 Things The Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street Have In Common
  Dinosaur Trader, October 7th, 2011 at 12:18 pm, Comments: 0

  #6 They both want to cut certain government programs

• Are Aliens Coming To Occupy Wall Street?
  Dinosaur Trader, September 29th, 2011 at 8:06 am, Comments: 0

  "Stop being so gay about it," she says. "They're fucking aliens. They'd kill us all."

• How “Nevermind” By Nirvana Cost Me Thousands
  Dinosaur Trader, September 27th, 2011 at 4:31 pm, Comments: 0

  We got drunk instead, buying cans of beer from the NYC delis who sold them to us. We careened around the city like that, from deli to deli, publicly urinating, until it was time to catch the last train back to Long Island.

• Insomnia, Gold, and Delusions of Grandeur
  Dinosaur Trader, September 7th, 2011 at 1:16 pm, Comments: 0

  I quickly fantasized about being on CNBC. Balding, nervous and sexually cowed by Courtney Reagan... no... by Sylvia Wadhwa.