My New Shtartup: KVETCHR

The Stock Rabbi writes about the lessons of the Talmud and breakout stocks.  Follow him here.

I can’t take it anymore!  Everybody’s blowing up, doing they thang!  Everybody!

This was in the New York Post yesterday, about my colleague Rabbi Adam Mintz (a world class yutz in real life):

In New York, even rabbis get endorsement deals.

When he’s not leading Kehilat Rayin Ahuvim, a modern orthodox congregation on the Upper West Side, Rabbi Adam Mintz lends his name and likeness to “Rabbi Mints,” the world’s first classic kosher mint.

“It’s a mitzvah for your mouth,” the rabbi said, of the Altoid-style confections now being sold for $2.50 in tins bearing his image at Barney Greengrass, Carnegie Deli, or by calling 540-46-MINTS.

He’s probably going to make a mint with that mint deal!  Pun intended!  And what am I doing?  Taking losses on this Nvidia ($NVDA) nonsense that I should’ve kicked above 20 and tutoring 12-year-olds to memorize 5 minutes worth of Hebrew they can’t wait to forget.

Well, it’s time to make moves.  Your favorite Rabbi has a startup of his own.  Here’s my pitch, feel free to forward to a venture guy, preferably one in the tribe like that Lindzon fella…

It’s a social media service called Kvetchr.  It’s like Twitter but it’s only for complaining.  In 50 characters or less.

Why not 140 you ask?  What, you think characters grow on trees?  It’s sinful to waste so many.  Here’s how Kvetchr’s 50 character blasts will look:

@StockRabbi: This soup, oy!

See – less than 15 characters there, and you know exactly what I mean!

Here’s another…

@StockRabbi: Oy Gevolt with this soup!  So salty

A bit longer, yet under 50 and it speaks volumes.  One more…

@StockRabbi: Fukushima, what do I know from that?

You see how I totally encapsulate what everyone’s thinking with that KVETCH about the Japanese power plant?  Perfect, and I can save the leftover characters that the goyim would so easily throw away.

Anyway, I figure I need to raise about $30 million or so to get Kvetchr off the ground.  Most of that money will be spent teaching your mothers and grandmothers in Boca to log on and not lose their passwords.  We have to get some buzz going and those yentas will never let people hear the end of it once I get them Kvetching.

Send me a private Kvetch for our funding presentation.